MICCIAH CHANNEL: JULIE WINTER
Produced by Jon Child
Transcript of Program 24, 1985
Some of Julie’s early work in channel from 1985 where Micciah offers meditations for individual class members:
• Handling Violence View Section
• Personal Integration View Section
• Personal Clarity View Section
• Reconciliation between the source self and the personality self View Section
Micciah: We greet you all, dear friends.
Julie: We do greet you, indeed. This is Micciah Channel, and I’m Julie Winter. Micciah is an energy entity who works with me while I’m in trance, and while I’m in the trance state I have access to a point of view that seems to come from a non-physical realm. This series of programs is drawn primarily from videotapes taken during my regular classes. We want to expand our circle, and include your energy and interest in our work.
Micciah: We greet you all, dear friends. Now, since you are going to ask individually for meditations, and since there are others watching and listening, we will gear the responses so they are of use to others.
How may we help you?
Christina: Okay, you can help me, give a meditation that could make me very strong in situations where I have to confront violence.
Micciah: Emotional violence? Physical violence?
Micciah: Why must you be in such situations? Is that your work?
Christina: It is mainly in relationships and probably my own violence, but I seem not to be able to get through that frozen feeling inside when I’m confronted with violence.
Micciah: Well, we are not going to give you a meditation, we are going to suggest something, which is that you find a friend, a good friend, and that you practice, both alone and with the friend, being a bear. The bear is a good power animal for you. And the bear has so much strength, doesn’t even have to do much. If you bump into a bear, you are already in trouble, yes? So, imagine that you have bear power. Well, that is partially a meditation. Meditate on bear power. And look up in Native American traditions what the bear represents. Great force, fortitude, courage, protectiveness. Bear power is great power, it is big medicine, big healing power. So begin to imagine your own bear energy and stand like a bear. Are you going to be in New York?
Micciah: Look at the bears in the Zoo, although it is sad to see them boxed in. Watch the bears and how they move. And then find someone you can sit with, or play with, and be a bear. Bears have tremendous staying power. And they are also clever, they can get into things, they have almost, like, little hands. So you are steadfast like the bear. And then in the context of your bear energy, you will be able to tolerate your own feelings more easily, more generously.
Feelings are only feelings. Feelings are not the truth of who you are, they are just feelings, like the weather. And thoughts, when you meditate, and a thought goes past, thoughts are all just thoughts. So when you are meditating on being a bear, or when you are meditating on the color meditation, or you are meeting the dragon of your own passions and a thought comes through, just label it, “Thinking,” and let it drop off. And the mind will play tricks on you, particularly if you are afraid of something. “Ahaa!” It will give you lots of violent thoughts. It will give you lots of desirous thoughts. It will give you thoughts that playfulness will take you away from your serious purpose. The mind always wants you to pay attention to it. It is all at that level of being, just thinking. We are not speaking of great thoughts in the sense of intentions that you wish to produce, but just the clicking of the mind. So when you are being the bear, your mind will throw up all these thoughts, unacceptable thoughts. Just label them “Thinking,” and let them drop through, and continue being the bear. And then you can graduate to being with someone and being in your bear energy, no pun intended.
Amielle: Okay, of course I want to ask all sorts of things, and I guess what I really need is to know how to integrate and focus all of the different things that I am involved in. All of the different ways that I have my fingers in healing, for myself, and for others, and with my parents, and with my relationship with my parents, healing of my love energy and my relationship energy with a partner. And work, creating work that is satisfying for me, work with my father, work on the film. All of that stuff, I want to be able to bring it together so that there’s more focus and clarity. I want everything!
Micciah: Yes, it is like the flowers on your dress. They are all different flowers but they are all on the same garment. And the first is to sit down and make a list. Everything that you have named, the relationship and the film, and the relationship with your parents, and your work life. This is also a meditation, or an exercise, that you can all do and it helps to focus. When you are finished writing down all the various things you want to do, if you are a person who wants to do various kinds of things, ask them to sing to you. Because each one of the items that you put down will have a sort of song, or will remind you of a song. So what would be the song, the theme song, that relationship would sing to you? And what would be the theme song that film-making would sing to you? And what would be the song that healing your body would sing? And the song that prosperity would sing? And when you hear them all — and they may be songs that are original, and they may be fragments of music you know already — what are the similarities? You will find that the different songs will have similar themes. What is the underlying presence that either really unites all of your choices or represents conflict? We will give you an example.
Suppose you are asking the theme of relationship what its song is and it sings to you about the country, and trees, and being peaceful in nature. And then you ask the theme of another song, another element, let us say work, and its theme is traveling all around, being in many countries, being in different places, being on planes and trains, moving in cars. Then you know that at some level you hold those two things as conflicting in some degree. Is this clear? We don’t mean that they are necessarily conflicting. But if you want a relationship, and for you that is represented by nature and peacefulness and stillness and being rooted, and work is represented by moving all around, that means that at some level of your consciousness those two wishes do not have harmonious themes, they are bumping into each other. Then you must explore further. Is there a way to harmonize them? Is this clear? If you don’t understand, ask.
Amielle: I could use some clarification.
Micciah: Each element will have a song.
Micciah: If the songs go together, if they all in some way represent being in nature, and that quality of harmony and peace, then to pull everything together, you need to meditate on that quality, which is the underlying theme being sung to you by all the possibilities. But it is more likely that they will be representative of opposing needs, or conflicting if not opposing. Then you will have to see, “What are my conflicts? Ah! Well for me representation of relationship is to be peaceful and rooted and quiet. But I think I cannot do that and do my work because my work representation is of travel, movement, lots of people, cities, business, the high life, and so forth. So at an emotional level, I have a conflict. I am asking for two things that are simultaneously excluding each other.” So then what would be next? Imagining a resolution between the two.
Micciah: Invent it. It is a very common belief that relationship and work, for instance, cannot go together, and the songs they sing to you will tell you why. It is a common belief that being prosperous and being at one with spirit cannot go together, and the songs they sing you will tell you why. Truly, you can be prosperous and be a real stinker, or poor and wonderful, or any combination of them all. It is the attachment that is the problem, attachment to money, or attachment to asceticism, or attachment to whatever. So. Try that. You will like it, it will be like a dramatization.
Amielle: Yes, you’re right, I’ll like it.
George: I would like a meditation to help me stay in clarity. I have a sense of who my saboteur is.
Micciah: Yours is fear also.
George: Well, the personification is my child self.
Micciah: A frightened little boy.
George: Well, two little boys. In periods of expansion and success, which I’ve been going through in the past year, it’s hard to stay in my adult self. One child escapes into fantasy and grandiosity, firmly believes that he can do anything, which is untrue; and the other child withdraws and retreats, and says, “This is enough, if you keep on doing this you’re going to be exposed, and someone’s going to envy you and erase you from the face of the earth.”
Micciah: Pretty strong punishment for envy.
George: Right. So, I’ve been working on a meditation for grounding, and that is the tree of life, which is very helpful.
Micciah: It is a very good meditation for you. The tree encourages because it goes into the earth and it touches the sky. As we said before, it is the balancing of, the personification of the creative elements. And it is self-nurturing. But we will give you another one.
Micciah: One is the song. There is a song, “If I Were a Rich Man,” yes?
George: Fiddler on the Roof?
Micciah: Yes. We are not going to do a musical quiz show (laughter). But one of the things we think you fear is to be ridiculous. This child, in his fear of being exposed and then punished, or banished, or eradicated, has a fear of being ridiculous and a fear of being shamed. And when you come forward, when you expand, when you feel grounded and are expanding and making choices that really suit you, you feel very vulnerable. For you, that is not a protected spot, that is a vulnerable spot. So, you can do it when you are along. You sing the song. Make big gestures. It is something like being the bear. Snap your fingers! “If I Were a Rich Man.” And feel what it feels like to take up space, and to be rich, and to imagine your own richness. And see if you can imagine also those little boys singing with you. You think we are fooling, but vast amounts of energy are wasted in the service of never appearing to be a fool. The fool in the tarot deck is the wise person too. So, we have the singing meditation and the practice of generosity to yourself.
We ask you to do something, three things a week, that symbolize for you being generous toward yourself. Could be small things, could be buying yourself something, treating yourself, having a particularly nice meal, whatever. Because when your little boy wants something he feels vulnerable, as if he might get slapped down. And that is true for all levels of wanting. Is this clear?
Micciah: So do that.
George: You think three will be enough for him? (laughter)
Micciah: Start with three. We would say start with ten, but in the same way that trying to do something that you’re too frightened of will sabotage you, tip the boat, doing ten will flood you. And then you won’t want to do any more. So, start with three. You will have a wonderful trip, you will love it.
Yes, Mary Louise?
Mary Louise: My question is a real continuation of the two preceding it. I sense that there is a battle internally. There’s the source self and the personality self, and the personality self does not want to allow the source self to engage, to recognize itself, to be creative, to stand on its own two feet. And not be always a little sister, or not the boy, or... all the nots. And...
Micciah: Yes. We have here a very interesting combination. Because the source is very strong, very present, and the personality self is a very tight container. We have the image as if you are wearing a suit all the way around that is too small. Imagine it getting bigger. You literally don’t have enough space, emotionally. And your sense of getting bigger, we think, is that someone will shoot you down for it, that you must always be defending yourself, so you are trying to have the personality get large enough to contain and to express the source. But you are also watching out that someone doesn’t take a poke at you.
Imagine your personality self as a big floppy suit that you have to grow into. There is really tightness in your body from the press inward against the source. It is like a war — push, pull, push. Imagine that your breath — you can use a color as we suggested before — your breath is emanating from the source and filling the suit. There is nothing in your way but that. It is important to imagine the personality self like a skin, a suit that is like a skin, growing. (This is a metaphor, but a useful one.) Don’t tear it. We think the personality element of your being is afraid that your source, the source energy, will rip it. So it presses back very hard. Do you understand?
Mary Louise: I can imagine.
Micciah: You want to be able to get bigger. All of you who are wanting to be more generous, more in fullness, the personality self may be frightened that you are going to crack it, or pierce it, or rent it. So you need to assure that element of self that it can grow, safely. All these terms are just a convenience, you know. And when you imagine your personality self, the skin, being able to breathe and to easily contain and express the source self, chant while you do it. This would be a good meditation for anyone who feels pulled in, contracted, by old beliefs: that you are wearing a big, floppy suit and that the love that is in you, that is your essence, is filling out to the perimeters of the suit.
Play with all of this. Adapt the meditations to yourself and to your needs and feel the creative movement of life playing in you and as you, as you do them.
Julie: That’s all for the moment. At the end of class we discuss the information that Micciah has shared and talk about how to use it in ordinary life since all of this information was given to be used.
Several final words. The thread that runs through my work of, which the channeling is one aspect, is healing. So, the thread of healing goes through my work with individuals, my teaching, my lecturing, my writing. And that healing, I believe, comes from a truthful exploration of one’s relationship with spirit. Spirit heals through us, and that healing enables us to be with the sacred nature of everyday life. I urge you to use your prayers and meditations toward experiencing the joy and sacred nature of life itself.
Julie: “This channeling is meant to be a spiritual, emotional, intellectual, heartful, mindful journey that I share with another realm, that I share with my classes and that we all share with you. Please go over the material, evaluate it for yourself, and know what it is that you think about it.”