Produced by Jon Child

Transcript of Program 42, 1986

Some of Julie’s early work in channel where Micciah discusses:
Avoiding blame of ourselves or others when we believe that we create our own reality, and something “negative” happens. A judgement of negative or positive comes from the personality’s desire for comfort and ease. The teachings the Great Self creates for us are beyond these judgements. View Section
Serving others with an open heart. Working with and accepting suffering and disease without manifesting it. View Section

   Micciah:  We greet you all, dear friends.

   Julie:  We do greet you, indeed.  This is Micciah Channel, and I'm Julie Winter.  Micciah is an energy entity who works with me while I'm in trance, and while I'm in the trance state I have access to a point of view that seems to come from a non-physical realm.  This series of programs is drawn primarily from videotapes taken during my regular classes.  We want to expand our circle, and include your energy and interest in our work.

   Micciah:  We greet you all, dear friends.  You are an experiment in the territory of love, and it is part of the joy of the possibilities of the way that you embrace life to question, to observe your lives with compassion and also with a questioning [pause].  There are several ways of questioning.  More than several.  The questioning that comes from the heart contemplating life and circumstances is very valuable, very rich.  The questioning that comes from the thinking mind can be useful intellectually but is less, is more -- we will say it the other way -- subject to the limitations of the mechanical.  We are not saying the intellect in its wholeness is mechanical but that the questions of the thinking mind divorced, divorced, from the explorations of the heart cause the kind of overbalancing that you have created in your culture as a group where you have the answers to many, many questions, you can do miraculous feats, scientifically and medically, but it is ruptured away from the heart center so its value is diminished.  What you are doing here is asking with your heart. 
   So, in that frame of reference, what are the questions?

   MaryAnne:  I have a question about not slipping into a blaming state when one believes that we create our own reality and something "negative" happens in our lives, such as being robbed or mugged or catching an illness, or whatever, just how to tread that fine line of being willing and open to understanding the teaching without going into blaming, like "Why did I create this?"

   Micciah:  Yes.  First, let us say, blame is really a form of punishment, yes?  Beating up on yourself or someone else.  So, remember when you are moving into blame, you are being in the internal self-hater, or the internal child abuser, whether you are abusing someone else or abusing yourself.  And you might need to do that for a while.  Otherwise, if you try to cut it off, artificially, before that is discharged as a feeling, you will then blame yourself for blaming yourself.  It goes on and on, forever!  So, this is also related to living in the heart and accepting the oneness of all experience.  When you are robbed, for instance, you are both the robber and, what shall we say, the robbee?  In every circumstance where there seems to be a victim, you are always both people.  The judgments that come from the personality reflect the need of the personal self to be comfortable, to be happy, to be trouble-free, or pain-free.  And the personality self judges anything that does not make it comfortable to be bad and undesirable.  Yes, illness, robbery, we are not saying they are desirable.  But, do you understand that point?  That in the judging of the personality, the only good things are happy, successful, comfortable situations, except of course some personalities are afraid of that.  This is very complicated.
    You do not create with your personality self.  When you say, "I create my own reality," you are speaking of the totality of the Great Self with its feet in many other realms.  Only that self has the skill to bring all the threads together that appear as circumstance. Your personality cannot create.  It can direct and make choices.  Do you understand that?  That is an important distinction.
    So, how not to blame yourself for that which is uncomfortable or seemingly tragic or difficult.  First you have to have space to have your feelings about it.  Spacious breath.  If you feel angry about being robbed, then that's the way you feel, and don't try to skip over it.  "Not me, I'm not angry.  I created it, I'm fine."  That will lock the experience in, for sure, nail it down.  First you need to give yourself the compassion of your own feelings.  If you are sick, if you lose someone you love, to be ordinary and human, which you all are, and have the feelings that come from that.  And when you have had those feelings, really allowed them full play, then you can contemplate the whole situation, again with your heart, with the eye of your heart.  Having cried, or raged, done whatever, and you may need to do it more than once, and you can soften the situation, melt it, with your heart.  The way when your body is in pain.
    Much pain is created from contraction against pain, yes?  From holding against the pain.  In deep states of relaxation, even with very severe pain, it begins to dismantle itself, to float, to dissolve, to play hide and seek.  In the same way, if you create a robbery or an illness or a loss, first you are in the feelings.  Then in contemplating it you can allow the pain.  First you have to acknowledge it is painful, yes?  You can't heal pain by denying it.  You can only heal it by contemplating it and moving into it, becoming one with it, until it starts to break up.  Just the same with, let us say, a robbery.  When the feelings have been at least temporarily discharged and acknowledged, you can move toward the pain, contemplating it with your heart, and see if the pain will break up.  And the thinking, the judging mind which says, "Fool!  Fool!  What a stupid choice!  Why would you choose to have a robbery?  Stupid!  Stupid!" begins simply to dwindle, to diminish, as you contemplate the pain and soften around it and go into it and let it break up.  You created it because you created it.  And there is in every creation a potential teaching, and you need to give it time, to be with the feelings, to soften the pain.  The personality self will probably always be caught in blaming, in judging, in praising.  The praise is really no different than the blame.  "Ah, good.  Good event.  Good, good that you have a check for five thousand dollars, that means you're in good shape!  Your consciousness is in good shape." [laughter]  It doesn't mean anything.  It means you created five thousand dollars.  And being robbed doesn't mean anything.  It means you were robbed.  The praise, at that level of being, the praising and the blaming, are just two voices from the same mouth.  And your power lies in encompassing something greater than either voice, being, having the check for five thousand dollars doesn't mean, doesn't increase your spiritual worth, and being robbed doesn't diminish it.  They are unrelated to it.  We will tell you something else.  You will never "get" this from the point of view of the thinking mind.  We can hear you going back and forth, "What what?  What?"  And the thinking mind does not like being pushed off its throne, so don't push.  It will just bite back.
    Please go on.

    John:  My question is about service and how to serve others with an open heart, how to strip one's self of everything that keeps one separate from others, which is an essential part of service.  How does one do this without burning out?  And how can you acknowledge suffering, how can you acknowledge disease, how can you get to that place where it's okay to have a disease, without manifesting that yourself, without creating it?  Does that make any sense?

   Micciah:  Yes.  We can assume that if you are working directly with something like a disease state in other people that something draws you to it, yes?

   John:  Yes.

   Micciah:  So you want to be with it but not in it.  [pause]  It would be different for different people, John.  It is like being a person who is wealthy who works with people who are poor, for instance, without giving up all their money necessarily and saying "I must become poor and starving too.  In order to validate my service to you, I must merge with you."  You want to merge with God, or spirit, you don't want to merge with their illness.  How in a greater sense it's all part of spirit and there isn't any separation, but...  Wait.  We want to be clear about this.  You need to investigate for yourself, potentially, what the allure of the illness would be.
     At the psychological level, you need to have clear boundaries, to be able to say to someone, to be in the paradox, "I am at one with you in spirit, and my choices are different from yours in personality, in the fact of the physical world, you are one person, and I am another person.  You have your choices, and I have mine."  You don't have to throw your lot in, to become one of them.  [exhale]  "I am just like you, and I am making these choices and you are making those choices."
     There is some guilt, you see, in working with people who are suffering in some way other than the way you are suffering.  There is some guilt.  Why are you not suffering too?  And the guilt is also around the pleasure that you are not (suffering).  For the same reason that children sometimes laugh, as do adults, if someone falls, laughter is a relief that you have not fallen.  So then there is in this situation some guilt that you are well, yes?  And that would be analagous in any situation where you are "better off" than the other guy.  "I'm helping you, and I'm better off than you are, thank God."  It is around that that there is guilt.  And again, if you can go into the pain that you cause yourself about being guilty it will start to dissolve and it will be clear that you are not going to take the illness on as a final demonstration to those around you that you are completely at one with them and you were never glad that you are better than they, that you are physically well and so forth.  "You see, you see, I am just like you."  Guilt.  Guilt is poisonous.  Let yourself enjoy being well and being of service.  That is fine to enjoy it.  Do you understand?  Yes, when you have "something" that someone doesn't "have," you "have" money -- we want the word in quotes -- or "have" your health, it is fine just to enjoy it and to allow yourself to enjoy it.  It is the need to diminish your pleasure in who you are that will create the kind of guilt that says, "Well, yes I...  Now I must manifest the illness also.  Or the poverty.  Or whatever." 
    Being at one is a lifetime process.  Being at one, this whole session in some ways is about melting and feeling yourself cradled by forces that are beyond the duality, beyond sick and well, beyond bad and good. 
    Now, in addition, in your culture, there is a very confused and confusing set of judgments about being ill.  People in the hospital, for instance, are infantilized as if by being in distress in the body you have suddenly become without power.  They are disenfranchised, they are told what to do, like naughty children.  So in your culture, illness is associated both with powerlessness -- "do what the doctor says" -- and with a kind of passive-aggressive power of manipulation.  Not always.  We are generalizing.  Where you must be nice to sick people, right?  People you were never nice to before.  They get sick and suddenly there you are with candy and flowers.  Why is that?  So illness brings up tremendous ambivalence, and in your culture particularly power issues.  If you are ill, somehow you are not in charge of your body, and the person who is well is in charge, and they are guilty because they are well, and they must come and make offerings.  They are pleased because you are sick and it is not them.  All these nasty things you're not supposed to talk about.  So, the more you can talk about that in your work also, the truth of it, the complexity, the stronger your work will be. 
    If you are working in a group -- we know you work with people who have AIDS -- what are their feelings about your being well?  Are they angry with you?  Do they form then a kind of elite into which you cannot enter because you are physically well?  Explore it.  Dig around into the unexpected and inadmissible.

   Micciah:  So.  We will leave you.  We have spoken much in this session about dissolving and vulnerability.  In becoming vulnerable and dissolving, softening into pain, into what appears as pain, you transform it.  In having as a conscious choice in your base of operations a ground of being greater than the personality self -- we are not against personalities,  but they don't need to be leading the whole band -- you empower yourself to make choices that are extraordinary.  They won't fit what you believe very often or what your culture said or what your parents said or what your ego says.  And they are extraordinary.

   Julie (a few minutes later, out of trance):  The words that came to me just now, back from the trance state, are that when you dissolve into the pain of something, what you're dissolving into is love.  I want that cut into the session someplace.  That it's not just dissolving, but when you focus on pain and allow yourself to melt into it, it's like a crystal of pain floating in a totality of love.  And as you allow yourself to be with the pain, the crystalline structure dissolves also, and the whole thing moves into the greater truth which is love.  That was the word I was missing.  I kept missing a word in the session and I just got it.  That's the important thing.  That's the answer (laughter).

   Channeling is a little like that. [Her cat, Hummingbird, perched on top of a wire fence.] That's the end for now.  What we do in class at the end of a session is go over the information, talk about it, evaluate it, find out what works for us individually and what doesn't, and we invite you to do the same.
   Several final words. The thread that runs through my work of, which the channeling is one aspect, is healing. So, the thread of healing goes through my work with individuals, my teaching, my lecturing, my writing. And that healing, I believe, comes from a truthful exploration of one's relationship with spirit. Spirit heals through us, and that healing enables us to be with the sacred nature of everyday life. I urge you to use your prayers and meditations toward experiencing the joy and sacred nature of life itself.

   Julie: “This channeling is meant to be a spiritual, emotional, intellec­tual, heartful, mindful journey that I share with another realm, that I share with my classes and that we all share with you. Please go over the material, evaluate it for yourself, and know what it is that you think about it.”