Produced by Jon Child

Transcript of Program 52, 1986

Some of Julie’s early work in channel where Micciah discusses:
Fear of getting what we want. We may fear decay and loss; we may want to hang onto something the way it is without change. We may identify ourselves as wanting, not having; it may feel as though there is an emotional prohibition against the pleasure and excitement of attainment. We may have forced ourselves into something that is not appropriate to our natures. View Section
Purpose of inner silence and how to cultivate it. One purpose is “liberation from the chatter aspect of the mind.” It creates good physical health, dissolves the illusion of separateness, allows the truth to be revealed. View Section

   Micciah:  We greet you all, dear friends.

   Julie:  We do greet you, indeed.  This is Micciah Channel, and I’m Julie Winter.  Micciah is an energy entity who works with me while I’m in trance,  and while I’m in the trance state I have access to a point of view that seems to come from a non-physical realm.  This series of programs is drawn primarily from videotapes taken during my regular classes.  We want to expand our circle, and include your energy and interest in our work.


   Micciah: We greet you all, dear friends. We would be most happy to have a room full of you conversing with our realm. For those of you who are watching, there was a discussion of everyone closing their eyes and “greeting,” themselves and each other. And you do, when you are sitting here and watching, (on the tape also) partake. You all create this experience, you all agree to it, and nourish it with your love, and with your questions, and with your questioning, with your joyful irreverence and with your real and loving loyalty and willingness to be in this experiment of two realms embodies in different ways. Touching, speaking.
   We have a word to say about fear. There has been much talk in the last ten years and there is much talk again about cities, the calamitous fate that will befall these cities, the fleshpots, the curse of materialism, of disease, magnified to its greatest power. We say to you that cities are a crucible, a burning place, a power point of melting, of burning through, through confrontation, through the activity of sparking, like lightning, of the mystery and the paradox that is softness and vulnerability within the paradox of hardness and materialism. The way to change the cities is not to curse them, but to honor them and bless them, and care for the people, and pick up the garbage, both literally and metaphorically. And yes, in the city, most particularly in cities like New York and Chicago and in Los Angeles, you have a nose-to-nose confrontation with decay — decay is part of life — literally nose-to-nose, at least in New York. To fan the flames of fear will not heal. You may stay or you may go. To stay and curse the environment is no great healing. And children of the cities are often warriors. Cities are as full of miracles as any other place. New York is very violent, yes?, very passionate place. So, that’s all about that for now.
   Please go on, what are your questions?

   Maria: I have a question about fear; specifically, fear of getting what we want. It seems that logically, when you begin to create getting what you want, you should be very open to it and very pleased, and allow it in very easily.

   Micciah: Yes.

   Maria: But instead, the reaction is often fear, to such an extent that you don’t even allow it.

   Micciah: So why should this be so? Having courted something, asked for it, pleaded for it, worked for it, then it comes and you want to hide. Some of this is because when you move from the familiarity of yearning to the potential satisfaction — although having does not necessarily mean satisfaction, but we put that aside for a moment — when you move from the initiating phase, the virgin phase to the maturing phase that is having, what do you think will follow when you go from initiating to creating and you have it, what happens next? You lose it, because life cycles inevitably through initiation, maturation and divine decay. And you are, to come back to what we said about the city, you are so frightened of decay, and of loss. In your culture there is no place for it, for the divine decay which nourishes the next cycle as the decomposition cooks. One of the ways that the city has become such a place of destructive decay, not useful decay, not fertilizing, perhaps, but, decay as sadness and stagnation and desperation is because there’s no room for it. So on a personality level, when you court something, you must move from one phase to the next, from initiating and wanting to having, and that will bring the spectre, yes?, of losing. So sometimes people choose to stay in the yearning and the wanting, because that, although it is frustrating, is less frightening than being nose-to-nose with decay. There was a line in a Bob Dylan song, “Don’t got nothing, you’ve got nothing to lose.” So, risking satisfaction is also risking decay.
   And then what happens is sometimes you create something, you wish it, you choose it, you create it, then you want so desperately to hang onto it the way it is. “Don’t let it move or change. Let this moment last forever.” God forbid if a moment lasted forever. If you were in the permanence of that kind of hell, that would be something. But there is fear of the changing, of the shifting of position. Sometimes a person is identified with herself or himself as the yearner. “I am the yearner. I am the one who wants and wants but never has.” So when that starts to change and you move from wanting to getting, your identity at the personality level, the level of the focus personality, does not know who it is. How can you admit you, who were always the yearner, that you have?
   And sometimes people identify with being in the phase of having, but being afraid of losing. “I have but I always feel loss and things are taken from me.” Well, anything that you can have, in that sense, will be taken from you, by you, by life, because there is creation and flourishing, and decay. And what you have as awareness also dies, yes? Your awareness is reborn, it goes through the fire, through the crucible, through, sometimes, rot, stinky — the death of old ideas smell. But putrefaction without release into the rebirth smells even worse. So all of this comes up when you are in the joy of creating and it comes toward you, so to speak. Well, you’re going to get what you asked for. These levels of the self recoil at the coming threat of the loss of having and of decay. So... Sometimes what you are choosing, sometimes there is a splitting, and the personality self has been forced, seemingly forced or coerced into a very unnatural pattern, a distorted pattern, very bound by the limits of the awarenesses of the personality, bound by old ideas, unable in the living to connect with its own matrix, its core needs, and its essence. Then, every gain the personality makes in its distorted form further freezes the distortion. So let us say you are in a career that you chose because your parents really always wanted you to be a doctor. And for whatever reasons you did not have the interior strength to say, “I don’t want to be that. I want to be a carpenter, a cook, a gardener, an engineer,” whatever. So you pursue this road, and the material world, and the beingness of “being a doctor” starts to shape your life, then every gain you make — gain in quotes — furthers that distortion and you fear its coming because it is another... It is further paralysis. So there could be a number of reasons. If you are afraid of having something that you’ve been working with, that you think you want, ask in different ways, “Fear, tell me your nature. What is your nature?” Fear — you use fear as a general word, but it can be so different. “What is your nature? What am I fearing in this?” And sometimes when there has been very little pleasure, when there has been an injunction against life energy and pleasure is about to come through, there is excitement and fear because you are breaking the injunction. Yes? You weren’t supposed to have that! You were supposed to stay in yearning. You were supposed to stay in contraction. So, when your emotions expand, when your body feels pleasure, you have broken that injunction, and perhaps punishment will follow. So that would be another possible fear of having, of receiving, of creating. If you stay in the yearning it’s safer. So, those are some.
   Please go on.

   Marie: What is the purpose of cultivating inner silence, and what are some of the ways one might work on it?

   Micciah: Yes. Inner silence. One of the results of being in the silence, meaning liberation from the chatter aspect of the mind, which in your culture is very highly developed and always being stimulated — and it is not bad, you know, don’t go and punish yourself for it — when you are in the silence, you can hear other things. When you are in the silence, you bring spaciousness to your awareness, and it leaves room for you to be guided by your own wisdom. It creates space for good health in the body, this silence, when the nervous system is still, and in the silence the folding in upon itself of the outer and the inner becomes apparent. So the silence pierces the illusion that outer and inner are different. And you experience that time tucks around itself, past and future flow simultaneously. The silence refers to a degree of skill and surrender in allowing the talking mind to stop running the show so that your other natural awarenesses simply make themselves present and felt. In the silence, one can be quite silent in the midst of a lot of noise from the seeming outer world. In the silence you confront your demons, your false ideas, your distortions become evident. There is great space and great silence hidden inside all condensed form and all noise. In the silence you hear the singing of angels, which is the singing of your cells, your organs, the flow of your blood, your lymph, your karma, all of that. And in the silence comes compassion. Silence in the sense we are using it does not necessarily correlate with no-sound because there is no such thing. Everything is vibration so everything is sound. The silence is the cessation, relatively speaking, of that which distracts you from the truth about you. So you can find the silence in the middle of loud music, or spinning, quiet in the middle of spinning, as the Sufis do. It isn’t necessarily literal sitting in a silent room. There’s no such thing as silence. If you go into an absolutely silent chamber, an anechoic chamber, you will begin to hear, literally, your own nervous system and the movement of the blood, the pounding of your pulse. So, silence can be practiced by silent meditation, but you can practice finding the silence amidst your everyday movement by bringing what to it? Awareness. Mindfulness. Heartfulness. Attentiveness. You think it matters what you are doing, and in one way it does. If you wish to dance, it does matter that you let yourself dance, that is important. But washing dishes, or being an important stockbroker, what you are trying to do is penetrate the illusion that that matters. So you can be in the nourishment of what does matter, which is your love.
   We will leave you with that. And we bless your earth, and we bless all of you, our dear friends. And Jon and Nannie and the cameras. And the airwaves that we hope to make into a healing channel, not only a selling channel. And we bid you a very good evening.


   Julie: Channeling is a little like that. That’s the end for now. What we do in class at the end of a session is go over the information, talk about it, evaluate it, find out what works for us individually and what doesn’t, and we invite you to do the same.

   Julie: “This channeling is meant to be a spiritual, emotional, intellec­tual, heartful, mindful journey that I share with another realm, that I share with my classes and that we all share with you. Please go over the material, evaluate it for yourself, and know what it is that you think about it.”